Egg Salad: a game

So my friends and I used to play a game we called "Egg Salad", and here's how it goes: you try to find things that are new things but are really just combinations of one item and another form of that same item. What is egg salad? It is eggs plus mayonnaise. What is mayonnaise? Eggs! So egg salad is eggs + eggs.

Other basic food examples are things like cucumber salad, which is usually cucumber (and yogurt) sauce on cucumbers. Or ice cream with whipped cream on top. Buttered croissant? Or... well, I can't think of many right now, but you can, and you'll tell them to me in comments.

Anyway, the game got extended to include metaphorical or more figurative things. One of my all-time favorites was this: my ex-boyfriend came running to tell me that he got dental floss stuck between his teeth.

In 2004, I wrote him email to explain that I had just washed my drying rack for dishes. Now that it's clean but wet, I asked, what do I do with it?

He tried karaoke once, in an egg salad kind of way: the song he sang was by Milli Vanilli. (This is kind of reverse-egg salad. It should have been lip-synching, not karaoke, right?)

McSweeney's once had a pretty good one: Thumb

I'm mentioning this now because I just bought a bag of chip clips, you know, those little plastic clips that you use to hold plastic bags of potato chips and the like closed. I think you see where I'm going with this... I used a chip clip to close up a bag of chip clips:



(See how much fun this can be? Get this meme in your head and it will occur to you at extremely odd moments... which you then immediately need to tell me about.)

Update:
Look at that! I post this post and then am wasting time reading some new blog I happened on today that I like and the guy has a PERFECT example of egg salad, a really nice one. He has a task to do, a (in his words) "Herculean task". He needs to throw away a garbage can. Oh, the beauty of good egg salad.

Egg Salad, take ∞

Really busy entertaining my mom who is visiting (yay!), STILL performing my civic duty, and pretending to have a spring break during all of it (ha ha), so today, just a few fabulous examples of egg salad from our friends around the web.

0. Simple and sweet: the Wikipedia article on... Wikipedia from NeoCorTEXT.

1. Dear Lord, how have we missed this? C-vahn points out the extremely obvious: FALAFEL AND HUMMUS! Duh.

2. Infinite flickr isn't so much egg salady, but I do love that it is a thing.

3. okbye.

Just try.

Go on, tell me this isn't a funny headline:

GA man executed, ending 7-month moratorium

Thank you, Yahoo news.

That is all.

(Yes, Virginia, a moratorium on executions is egg salad.)

Jotsam... notes down for me.

Oh, it's been so long since we had a good egg salad up in here! I've been cleaning out my office the last week or so, and finding all kinds of interesting things (anyone want a combo TV and VCR? Or a DVD player? Or a Sony Handycam? Someone bought my old printer, yay!). I'm down to going through some very small piles of very small papers, the little notes I leave myself all over, the flotsam and jetsam of my pockets, only they are notes on which I jot things down so I want to call it: jotsam.
Anyway...
Anyway, on one of these small papers is a reference to something I heard on the news, apparently a few years ago:
Wind Erosion Lab Blown Away
 
Oh, how very lovely is that?
(I mean, sorry for the researchers and all. You know what I mean.)

Ok, well, it's TIED with egg salad. For now.

Yup. My most-commented-on posting to date was something I wholesale copied from another website, without adding any commentary at all. I fixed some typos (of course) and made a slightly self-deprecating title (of course), and y'all commented more on that than on ANYTHING ELSE I'VE WRITTEN.

love you too.
xoxo
rdb

Holy Cow.

• Phil Rizzuto died a month or so ago. This is interesting news because not just do I know that he's the guy who does the pseudo-sports-announcing in "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" but I also actually own the book O Holy Cow!: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto which has his real broadcast comments written in verse form and it rules. Bye, Phil.
  
  
• Um, this blog ALSO says "blah blah blog". And here I thought I was so original! Ok, time for the Official Google Test:
  Results 1 - 10 of about 335,000 for "blah blah blog". (0.08 seconds)
  335,000. Damn.
  
  
• How bad do I want to see/be a part of/at least hang out with The Rock Bottom Remainders? Read the Quotations section. LOVE IT.
  
  
• Nice bumper sticker: "At least we're winning the war on the environment."
  
  
• In case you were wondering about car insurance companies: Mercury Insurance SUCKS ASS. Geico rules.
  
  
• Quotation of the week:
  "Night, I have discovered, has a faintly bitter taste, caused by its large ingredient of Unattained Possibility."
  --Christopher Morley in John Mistletoe (according to p198 of Sixpence House)
  
  
• What is it with emotional attachment to clothes? I almost NEVER wear t-shirts anymore but I have huuuuuge stacks of them that I can't get rid of because of some kind of crazy nostalgia. T-shirts, folks. WTF?
  
  
• The Falling Sand Game is kind of fantastic. It's considered the Best Time Waster on The Best of Everything blog, which is in itself an ok time waster but not as good as the same guy's blog Thinking the Lions which I quite like. [Hey, he commented on egg salad! Woo-hoo!]
  
  

On Not Posting

I. RDB takes a sabbatical.

A. But why?
B. No one knows.
C. Not even RDB herself.

II. RDB has posts lined up in her head, but doesn't post them.
A. But why not?
B. No one knows.
C. Not even RDB herself.

III. For example?
A. Another post about signs, possibly being environmental and recycling the title "Signs and Portents; or, The Importance of Signs" to include:

1. Fantastic local Egg Salad: there is a sign on Ventura Boulevard at Pierce College that advertises a fun fall thing they have there every year, a maze. Made out of corn. IT'S A MAIZE MAZE. OH YES.
2. There is a sign on Burbank Boulevard that says, I kid you not, "We buy dental gold." Um, OUCH??? EW??? UGH??? Worst and scariest sign ever.

B. A post about writing and about not writing, to include a link to 101 Reasons to Stop Writing and that story about Ann Patchett I never told.

C. A post about how I don't do a lot of community-service type things, but I strongly believe in donating blood and did so today, for THE THIRD TIME THIS YEAR. I AM AMAZING. BOW DOWN TO ME AND MY WONDERFULNESS. Or don't, but give blood yourself instead, before 2007 is up. Check out the many convenient options at Give Life.

D. A post about how I hated "Knocked Up" and "SuperBad", whether I want to admit it or not, but how I COMPLETELY FUCKING LOVED "Juno". I want the soundtrack NOW. What do you mean, it isn't out until January? WTF??

First new Egg Salad in a loooong time...

I should just have an "egg salad" tumblr by now, eh?

Go read this article about a fish being eaten by a shark being eaten by a shark!

And while we're here... tumblr? I hardly know 'er!

Also, this:

(Twitter? I hardly know 'er!)

Also, regarding the official inclusion of the meaning of figuratively into the dictionary definition of the word literally, I still propose beginning now to use figuratively in every day conversation, every day, as follows:

I am figuratively sitting at my computer right now. 

I am figuratively updating my blog at this moment.

And now, I am figuratively ending this random post and going to bed.  Gnight.