Today at camp... revisited.

I stepped on a bee.

And got stung. AGAIIIIINNNNNNN.

Between my toes.






the end.

Partially redeemed; Or, at least I have my moments

I just received an email from a colleague here that begins as follows:

"Congratulations on being the nicest person ever."

Let's be honest: if you know me well you know that I can, at times, be an uberbitch, so that was seriously, seriously nice to hear.

Unexpected Accomplishments

I might be my most favorite self while I'm away working at sleepaway camp. I mean, not all of the time, because I definitely get very cranky at times, and overwhelmed and overtired, and mid-summer slump hits me like everyone else, and I definitely ignore the outside world to a both dangerous and impolite degree. But, during the days at camp, and in those in-between moments when I'm not teaching... I do some good stuff sometimes.

Today was one of those days, days one should have at camp, filled with unexpected accomplishments. In sitting down to write about it, I just re-read my other blog posts with the "camp" label from past years and I really like the girl who wrote them. I wish I saw her more often. Go ahead, read or skim through them; I'll wait here.

...or here, I'll point out some of my personal favorites.

Anyway, today I finally, finally went for a run. I ran the High Road, a road that goes around camp and is, you know, high up. (A new post on running is sorely needed and coming soon, btw.) And then I went and taught some dances, of course. And then, instead of going back to my room to shower as planned, I went and did yoga with a small group of other staff members, outside in one of the most beautiful spots in camp. And then I taught some dances, of course. And then during free-choice-activity time, instead of going back to my room to shower as planned, I climbed the rock wall! For the first time ever!! I made it to the top! Of course, this was unplanned so there are no pictures, and of course, I wasn't mentally prepared for it so I didn't exactly do a perfect or graceful job of it... but I climbed the wall! To the top! Yay for camp!

Today at camp...

I sat on a bee.

And got stung.

On my butt.






the end.

Where can I get me some of those?

So I'm reading Bram Stoker's Dracula and enjoying it tremendously, not really having had any idea what it would be like. The format is fun, the prose is great, and I love the fact that I'm only partway through the book and everything I already thought myself to have known about the story is already done with, so that the rest of the plot will be a surprise to me. But can anything really top this line that I read today? I think not:

"Doctor, you don't know what it is to doubt everything, even yourself. No, you don't, you couldn't with eyebrows like yours."

So fantastic.



PS If you're an Israeli folkdancer, this will doubtless put you in mind of a certain famous choreographer. He is not generally how I imagined Van Helsing to look, and I'm trying to keep his image out of my mind for the rest of the book, but it is pretty funny, isn't it?

PPS It's always "Bram Stoker's Dracula" since the movie, eh? Why didn't I just write "Dracula, by Bram Stoker", like I would have done about any other book?

86 songs, 5.4 hours, 346.9 MB

Ok, remember how I ran these coupla marathons and said that I'd post my iPod music playlist and never did it? So, a coupla months later and a week before I walk a half-marathon with a group of friends (some of whom I haven't met yet) (except one might end up not walking at all, and one might do the full instead of the half, and honestly if we aren't doing it together then I'm gonna wanna run instead of walk and in that case, why do only a half? Please, someone stop me from running my third marathon next week!!)... what was I saying? Oh yeah, here's the playlist.

If I were to do a marathon right now, a few songs would be added immediately to the list: Gaga's Alejandro, and a couple of Mumford and Sons songs, especially "Little Lion Man", to which I've linked so you can listen to it incessantly, like I've been doing.

Ok, five+ hours of music to run to, if you're me... plus occasional commentary.

This is very nearly the list I ran to in New Orleans, but with modifications made for Los Angeles.

We start out with a bunch of silly KIIS FM-style stuff, songs with a great beat and which I can sing along to in a totally mindless manner, without really paying attention to it:

Bad Romance / Lady GaGa
Paparazzi / Lady GaGa
Hard feat Young Jeezy / Rihanna
Whatcha Say / Jason Derulo
Scared Of Lonely / Beyoncé
Sweet Dreams / Beyonce
Empire State of Mind (feat. Alicia Keys) / Jay-Z
American Boy (Radio Edit w/ Kanye) / Estelle
Halo / Beyonce
Human / The Killers ["Are we human, or are we dancer?" How can I not love this song?]
Carry Out / Timbaland

Then, the more meaningful stuff starts. The next two songs are from the video "Running to Tyler", more inspiration to run to beat cancer.
If Everyone Cared / Nickelback
Chasing Cars / Snow Patrol

Then a few more good-beat mostly-mindless songs.
Baby Boy (Ft. Sean Paul) / Beyonce
Crazy in Love (ft. Jay-Z) / Beyonce
Naughty Girl / Beyonce
Lucifer / Jay Z [LOVE this song. Thank you, Alex Garry.]
Kick Push / Lupe Fiasco [LOVE this song. Thank you, Laura Katz.]
Independent Women (Part 1) / Destiny's Child
Lose Yourself / Eminem

Now the really meaningful and personal choices. Great stuff, great run. (Oh man, so much '80s stuff! What can I say?)
Lighten Up / The Beastie Boys
Fast As I Can / Erin McKeown [One of my favorite songs ever.]
Ooh Child Things Are Gonna Get Easier / The Five Stairsteps
Baby's Got Sauce / G Love and Special Sauce
Mr Brownstone / Guns N' Roses [One of the BEST moments of the NoLA run!]
The Girl From Ipanema / Stan Getz & Astrud Gilberto [My favorite song ever]
Physical / Olivia Newton John
Hit Me With Your Best Shot / Pat Benatar
Hey Mickey / Toni Basil
Because The Night / 10,000 Maniacs
She Said She Said / The Beatles [My favorite Beatles song]
Birchovot Paris / Yair Ziv [The only Israeli song!!]
Rock the Cradle of Love / Billy Idol
Fighter / Christina Aguilera [This song, with its specific lyrics, came on at precisely the right moment in NoLA, given what I was passing at that moment... serious serendipity.]
Laid / James
Mighty Quinn / Manfred Mann
Girlfriend / Matthew Sweet
The Way You Make Me Feel / Michael Jackson [Sexiest MJ song]
Porch / Pearl Jam
7 / Prince
Belleville Rendez-vous (French) / The Triplets of Belleville
Cantaloop / Us3
Livin on a Prayer / Bon Jovi
Gett Off / Prince
It Feels So Good / Sonique
You Give Love A Bad Name / Bon Jovi

Now, 30 minutes of pure soul-lifting Revelations joy!!
I Been Buked / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
Didn't My Lord Deliver Daniel / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
Fix Me Jesus / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
Processional / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
Honor, Honor / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
Wade In The Water / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
I Wanna Be Ready / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
Sinner Man / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
The Day Is Past And Gone / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
You May Run On / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
Rocka My Soul In The Bosom Of Abraham / Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater

We Built This City / Jefferson Starship
We Belong / Pat Benatar
Aqualung / Jethro Tull
Dancing In Heaven (Orbital Be-Bop) / Q-Feel
Embryonic Journey / Jefferson Airplane
Eye of the Tiger / Survivor <--- of course!
I Feel Free / Eric Clapton
Informer / Snow
My Sharona / The Knack
Where did you sleep last night / Nirvana
Killing In The Name Of / Rage Against The Machine
Youth Gone Wild / Skid Row
18 And Life / Skid Row
Home Sweet Home / Motley Crue
Non je ne regrette rien / Edith Piaf
Somebody To Love / Jefferson Airplane
Piece Of My Heart / Janis Joplin
Nights In White Satin / The Moody Blues [Not at all a running song, but how could I not? Breathe Deep.]
Untouchable Face / Ani DiFranco
Crucify / Tori Amos
Standing Outside a Broken Phonebooth / Primitive Radio Gods
White Rabbit / Jefferson Airplane
Baba O'Reilly [Live] / The Who **SUCH A GOOD RUNNING SONG**
Blister In The Sun / Violent Femmes
Danger Zone (Top Gun) / Kenny Loggins
Expression / Salt N' Pepa
Here Comes The Rain Again / Eurythmics
La Isla Bonita / Madonna
Maniac (Flashdance) / Michael Sembello

It's been interesting to make this list, because it's clearly not a list of just my favorite songs - most of my really favorite songs are soulful and moody and not at all fit for spurring on an exhausted runner. No Joni Mitchell? Barely any Tori, Ani, Regina? No Simon and Garfunkel or Arlo Guthrie? Just not running stuff, as much as I may love it.

I also have a 3-hour California mix I love, and since I was going to be running the streets of Los Angeles, I had trouble resisting the urge to dump a bunch of L.A.-themed stuff in there. I mean, how funny to be listening to "Nobody walks in L.A.", right? Still, most of that stuff isn't runny, so it wasn't for the marathon. That's a different playlist.

It would be the last unicorn that came to Molly Grue.

Oh hey there, blog-I-used-to-blog-in. Where you been these last couple months?

Let's see: a visit to New York to spend Passover with my family, to Boston to be the guest teacher at a special mostly-couples Israeli dance night at MIT, to New Hampshire to spend time with friends on the farm. That was in April. As was an amazingly fun afternoon at Santa Anita Park with a friend - we came in knowing NOTHING about betting on horses and left, a few $1-hot-dogs and $1-beers later, having HIT THE TRIFECTA. Freakin amazing day. Also, the LA Times Festival of Books which is even cooler when you know an author and get to hang out in the VIP lounge!

In May, to the DC area to see old college friends, to teach a dance at the Israeli dance session in Rockville, MD, to pretend to still be nearly-college-age with my wonderful friend Lila. I saw some great stuff at the Hammer museum (I'd like to own a painting by Friedrich Kunath. Know how to make that happen for me?) and got to hear the amazing Superdevoice Balkan Women's Choir in the courtyard there. A Friday night Jazz at LACMA, some time (not enough) at JPL's annual Open House which I've been trying to get to for the five years I've lived here, and I straightened my hair. I look very different... and I'm pretty damn happy about that.

And aside from that, been spending a lot of time in my usual spring mental space - that limbo as school ends and before camp begins in which I wander, every year, wondering if I'm making good choices about how to live my life and how to spend my time and what changes I should make for next year, ya-dah ya-dah.

And what have you been up to lately?

This is why.

Yes, I ran another marathon. It was amazing, and I'll have the details for you soon. For now, instead, here's why I did it. Please read.

http://ihaterunningbutihatecancermore.blogspot.com/2010/03/marathon-update-12-rejoice.html

26.2 times 2

So, I'm running the Los Angeles Marathon in a few days (yeahhhhhhhhh!!). Yes, I did just run my first marathon less than 3 weeks ago! If you would like to let me know how fantastically bad-ass you think I am, there are many ways you can do that. Choose one OR MORE of the following options:

0. Donate to my fundraising page! The whole reason I got into this crazy thing was to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It's only a few days from race day, pleeeeeeeeease contribute now! Any amount helps - really. I so appreciate it. [All of those links take you to http://pages.teamintraining.org/los/mardigra10/erica] Thank you!

1. Come cheer for me at the race! Here is the marathon spectator guide with all kinds of info about the course and where the block parties are, where entertainment (Taiko drummers at Mile 3!) will be, and transportation and road closure information. If you are somewhere along the course and bring a sign or small edible offering, I will love you forever, but I won't stop and chat for more than a second. If you are at the finish line, it may be difficult to find each other, but I'll be able to actually talk to you and not just wave as I go by. I did my other marathon in about 5 hours, so it's reasonable to assume this one will be similar, although there are other factors that may change that. For one thing, I'm running with my team, Team Curly-Hair, so I alone will not be determining the pace. After I cross the finish line, I go into a runners-only zone for a few minutes to collect my medal and things, but then I can go to the Family Meet-Up area (I'll be in the "G" area, unless I'm with my team in the "S" area...) to find you - so let me know if you'll be there!

2. Get live updates about my progress by going to this race-tracker website and signing up your phone number or email address. They'll send a message when I've crossed the 10km mark, the half-marathon mark, etc. (You have to sign up for this BEFORE the day of the race itself.) If you'll be on the course, you can use that info to judge when I should be nearing your location (a full marathon is about 42 km). The race starts at 7:24am but I have no idea when I'll start running; I definitely won't be in the first few waves so it may be after 8 before I actually start.

If you're going to be at the finish line, read this info about the Finish Line Festival... and bring me some chocolate milk :)

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then...

In the pre-race dawn of last Sunday morning, my fellow teammates and I were huddled in a small pack awaiting the start of the run and trying desperately to keep from freezing. I was wearing leg-warmers; a teammate said to me, "Only a dancer would wear those to a race!"

In the post-race sunshine of last Sunday afternoon, my fellow teammates and I were stretched out on the grass, enjoying having finished our runs. I complained about having broken a fingernail; a teammate said to me, "How did you break a nail? You're a runner!"

Delighted. I was delighted at both of these moments, at both of these labels. But why? With the families at the camp I taught at this weekend, we discussed the labels we place on one another. With some of my high school students, we talked about the labels we place on ourselves. Tonight at the temple where I teach, I asked the students about what they are rather than who they are... it's been on my mind.

First of all, why did those labels delight me? I teach dance for a living; in fact, I make my living exclusively by teaching dance. In my spare time, I often go dancing just for fun, and I'm a member of a performing dance company, so I spend lots of time rehearsing and performing. I've choreographed for big shows, like one last year at the Kodak Theater, a show which included performances by the Idan Raichel Project, Rami Kleinstein, and Achinioam Nini (these are huge names on the Israeli music scene, if you don't happen to be steeped in Israeli culture!). I freakin competed in the International Golden Karagoz Folk Dances Competition in Turkey in 2003. I'm clearly a dancer. And yet...

And yet for some reason, I hesitate before calling myself a dancer, thinking I don't quite deserve the title.

I have run 180 miles in the past four months, I completed my first marathon a week and a half ago and I'm going to run my second in another week and a half. And yet.

And yet for some reason I hesitate before calling myself a runner, thinking I don't quite deserve the title.

If I were one of my students, I would tell me unhesitatingly: if you do it, you are it. And you can be many things at once.

In fact, I tell them that all the time. If you dance, you are a dancer. You may not be the best dancer, or a professional dancer, but that has nothing at all to do with the fact of being a dancer or not. If you sing, you're a singer (even if you're tone-deaf like me). If you run, you're a runner: there's no per-week mileage requirement for some magical exclusive club.

The other side of this coin that I stress heavily when talking to my kids is that you aren't *just* any one thing, and that there is a danger in the limiting we do when we say we can't do something because we aren't something. Oh, I'm not an artist, one says, shaking one's hand and one's head and taking a step backwards. Oh, I don't sing. Always that same wave of the hand, the same step backward.

You do it by doing it, I've been telling them lately. You do it by doing it, I've been telling myself lately.

Some kids already knew a dance I was teaching the other day, so I had those students demonstrate with me - more feet for the other students to watch, plus the room was too small for one circle anyway, so it worked out best to pull out some of the kids. "Watch how they do this thing," I told the others. "Try it like that."
"But they're dancers," objected some of the others.
"So are you," I responded.

But they didn't believe me. You do it by doing it, I've been saying.

I see them being afraid to try things they aren't already good at. How are you supposed to become good at it if you don't try? I ask. The more you do it, the better you'll be at it. You know how you become a fast reader? By reading. You know how you become a good runner? By running. As another local dance teacher would say, to great comic effect: Practice makes...
better.

How can I, but I can't, but I'm not...
You do it by doing it, I've been telling them lately. You do it by doing it, I've been telling myself lately.