My money's on Alexis, if I had to put down money.

THANK YOU!!! I posted that I wanted the xkcd book and five minutes later, it showed up at my door. You're wonderful... Alexis.

Or jjd? Or Debbie?

It didn't say who sent it so I can't say a proper thank you! Was it you?

Thank you! I love you! I appreciate you! Whichever one of you... NO MORE GUESSING TELL ME NOW.

At least it doesn't say "Why I Climb Mountains"

Everyone else is doing it, so why can't we? I mean, me.

Click to embiggen.

Funny how the results of my actual name are a lot more "read dance bliss"-ish (at least, "books music social") than my blog name... although the blog name is skewed by all the meta-blog stuff (the label "online" comes from all the zillions of times this very page includes the word "links" and "post", for example). Cool anyway.

A Short List of Things that Are that I wish Were Not

0. My DVD player completely sucks ass.

1. My back really hurts again. (Don't tell me to take ibuprofen; a doctor already did. I'm on 800mg three times a day. That's more in a week than I've taken in THE REST OF MY LIFE PUT TOGETHER.)

2. I am VERY quickly gaining back the small-but-hugely-appreciated amount of weight I lost this past year. (And I am HUNGRY.)

3. I stopped blogging for long enough to lose all but my 3 most tenacious readers. (But thanks to you three! I appreciate you!).

More Shows I Want To See:

Wednesday, 9/23 Crosby Stills Nash @ Greek Theatre
Wednesday, 9/30 Pearl Jam @ Gibson Amphitheatre w/ Ben Harper and Relentless 7
Wednesday, 10/28 Regina Spektor @ Greek Theatre
Friday, 11/13 Loudon Wainwright III @ Royce Hall - UCLA


Thank you, ShowList LA.

I'm not over this joke yet.

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? INTERRUPTING KANYE. interrupting kanye wh- YO, I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT THE CHICKEN JOKE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST JOKES OF ALL TIME.


Thank you, posiduck.

Just in time for 5770

Al Gore... E

Anybody want to go see Al Gore with me in November? It's $40, but that includes a signed copy of the book. Come on....

Ok, NOW I'm freaked out.

So, approximately THREE YEARS AGO I got rear-ended on the highway (that's "freeway" for you Angelinos), and I got the guy's info and I called him a million times and he stopped talking to me so I just called my car insurance and they called his insurance and eventually I got a check in the mail for the repair to my car.

I had never met the guy who hit me before and I haven't talked to him since. We have no friends or community in common that I know of, and I don't remember even mentioning his name to anyone I know, because why would I? He's a random guy who rear-ended me on the highway.

FACEBOOK JUST SUGGESTED WE BECOME FRIENDS. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Mary Travers has died.

ERIKA WITH THE WINDY YELLOW HAIR
Travers/Holdridge-
Cherry Lane Music Publishing Co., Inc. -ASCAP.

(spoken)
Erika with the windy yellow hair
Dancing through the day or moping by the stair
My joy to know my Erika with the windy yellow hair

Yesterday I met her running home from school
Her face was tear stained, she didn't know I knew
But I do, I do

Today she had a song to sing and a poem she knew
And with a kiss and a hug she dashed away, she had things to do
I do too, I do too

Lithesome child, I turn with care
When viewing you on step or stair
All my hope and love for you,
My Erika of the windy yellow hair

I WANT THIS. NOW WHILE I CAN STILL HAVE A SIGNED ONE.

The first xkcd book is out and it's called Volume 0. And if you get me one RIGHT FREAKING NOW, it'll be a signed copy. You know I have a special shelf(s) in my bookcases for signed copies, right??

I fought the law and... it was a tie.

So, some time back in July (the 3rd, actually), I was on some street (Tapo Canyon) and I got to a light, and I made a U-turn. And then I got pulled over and got a citation for making said U-turn at said light, at which U-turns are apparently illegal.

Ok, listen, policedude, I cried. You're supposed to let me off with a verbal warning when I cry, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS??

Ok, anyway. So I got the damn citation, and then I got the details in the mail about what to do: either appear in court a few weeks later or pay the fine, a measly $260 (!!!!) and either go to traffic school or get a point on my license.

TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY DOLLARS FOR MAKING A U-TURN? IT DIDN'T COME WITH CHAMPAGNE AND A MASSAGE, DAMMIT, IT WAS A U-TURN.

Anyway, I go to court and I plead Not Guilty (even though I was) and get scheduled for a trial, a month later (today). Of course, now that camp is over it is no longer even a little bit convenient to go to court in Simi Freakin Valley, but whatever. So during the past few weeks I start trying to figure out what to do because I'm asking around and it seems like California doesn't work like New York where even if the police officer shows, you still get your fine or violation reduced, just for showing up. Here, no one gets off, apparently, unless the cop doesn't come, and the cop always comes. And California neeeeeeeeeeds cash, nu?

[I'd like to digress here and tell a story I just heard from a cow-orker who went to traffic court last week (and had to pay $745 for HIS citation (speeding) which fine made MY fine seem like chump change), but this post is already getting too long, isn't it? Maybe tomorrow.]

So apparently showing up doesn't get you anywhere if HE also shows up, and anyway I can't possibly claim to be not guilty because for sure I made that U-turn and it was broad daylight, ya-dah ya-dah. My vague plan was to say something to the effect of "I've learned my lesson, I am hyper-vigilant about traffic signs now, please don't make me pay all that money," but I was starting to feel dumber and dumber about that the more I heard about how it works in CA. AND then it became clear that today was also going to be an absolutely terrible horrible no good very bad day on account of my taking to the airport someone whom I'll likely never see again and if I could see through the tears, I'd keep typing, but gimme a minute, ok?

Ok so last week I decided the angst about the trial and the timing of the airport and going out to Simi and missing my Hebrew class and everything else was just not worth the $260 and I tried to pay the fine online but the website was totally broken and even though it found my case and I entered my credit card number and everything, it just said ERROR at the end and I had to assume it hadn't worked. Arrrgh. So I'm going to court.

So I go straight from LAX to court. The judge starts by taking attendance. The defendant says "here" if he or she is (many were not, oddly) and then the officer says "here" if he or she is. Everyone in the room holds their breath when their officer's name is called, hoping for a no-show and therefore automatic dismissal of the case. I'm told this very rarely happens, but for some reason today it happened quite a bit... lots of sighs of relief as the judge went down the list, and of course plenty of grumblings when the officers that were in fact present responded as such. So then the judge calls my name and I say "Here" and the judge calls my officer's name and he says "Here" and then he says he has a motion.

Oh?

We both get called up to the front of the room to stand at the microphones (DEFENDANT?? SCARY.) and here's where it gets really good:

The cop says that the clerk's office has lost my citation, he has no written notes from the incident and insufficient memory of the incident to proceed, so he was moving to dismiss.
THE COP WAS THERE AND **HE** MOVED TO DISMISS! It was awesome. I was out of there in 15 minutes with NO fine, NO points on my license, and NO traffic school. Awe.Some.

If today hadn't been the worst day ever, it would've been the best day ever.





And now for one of my favorite jokes, except maybe it won't come across so well in writing instead of in hearing, but we'll do what we can:

So I got pulled ovah the otha day by this cop, says I done something wrong. I said I didn't do nothing wrong, I did what God said to do! What God said to do, he asks me, what are you talking about? Well, see officer, it's like this: I'm driving down the street and I'm a little bit lost and I'm not sure what to do, so I prays to God and I asks, What do I do here, do I go straight? And God puts there a sign for me, it says, No, u turn!!

Good thing they never gave me a chance to speak in court, huh?

From the essay "Dehumanized" by Mark Slouka

Despite the determinisms of the day, despite the code-breakers, the wetware specialists, the patient unwinders of the barbed wire of our being, this I feel is true: That we are more nurture than nature; that what we are taught, generally speaking, is what we become; that torturers are made slowly, not minted in the womb. As are those who resist them. I believe that what rules us is less the material world of goods and services than the immaterial one of whims, assumptions, delusions, and lies; that only by studying this world can we hope to shape how it shapes us; that only by attempting to understand what used to be called, in a less embarrassed age, “the human condition” can we hope to make our condition more human, not less.

Harper's Magazine, September 2009. Page 32

Recommend me this:

I just bought a new computer, and I mostly have all the programs I need up and running on the new machine. The exceptions are as follows, and I want your advice. What do you use for:

Ripping DVDs? I used to use Handbrake - should I get that again, or something else?
HTML editing? I used to use CuteHTML - should I get that again, or something else?
Sound editing? I used to use CoolEdit - should I get that again, or something else?
Playing random format videos that Quicktime can't open? I used to use VLC - should I... you get the idea.

And what should I use for making DVDs, actually? What do you recommend?

Thaaaaaaanks.

(YES MORE SKYDIVING PICTURES ARE COMING. I SWEAR.)