Ok, fine, stop asking! All both of you.

Here's what I think:

I think any Democrat is better than the Shrub. I think the bumper stickers that say "1.20.09: the end of an Error" are fabulous. Of course, I also think the ones that say "08-ing change" are pretty clever too. So you have an idea where I'm coming from.

So: I don't care if you LIKE her. I don't care if you think she's cute or calculating or friendly or not. It's not that kind of popularity contest. You aren't going to get to have coffee with her, so I don't give a shit whether or not you'd want to. I think Clinton will. do. the. best. job. as. president. Isn't that what is supposed to matter?

I think if you are black and are not voting for Obama, you are an idiot.

I think Obama will also do a fine job if he gets elected. Go Democrats.

Note to Barack: Ok, so Hillary's running on this whole "experience" thing, right? Here's all you have to do: point out that at this moment, the person with the most experience being President is... GEORGE. W. BUSH. Is experience really the key here, folks?
Seriously, say that, and you're in. Pulls out the rug from under her whole campaign, with the added bonus of sortakinda equating Hillary with W. No, no, that's ok, only one million will be fine. I'm not greedy.

I think Bill Clinton is still legally able to be a vice-president, so I'm waiting for the Clinton/Clinton ticket. That will make me laugh AND get my vote.

I think the Republicans all kind of suck, of course, but if I had to choose McCain or Romney or Idon'theartHuckabee, I choose McCain for shit sure, for being a conservative first and a Republican second. But that is why he won't get the Republican nomination, don't you think?

I think Ron Paul doesn't stand a chance, but is fabulous for saying that whole "We just marched in. We can just come back. We went in there illegally. We did not declare war. It's lasting way too long. We didn't declare war in Korea or Vietnam. The wars were never really ended. We lose those wars. We're losing this one. We shouldn't be there. We ought to just come home." thing about Iraq. But you knew I'd say that.

I like votehelp.org a lot, mostly because of the chart it gives you with your results. Spend the ten seconds and check it out.

Ok, can I stop now?

Because "nothing says 'reading is fun' like guns and booty-shaking, right?"

I know there's all this controversy about the song: is it satire? Is it a failed attempt at a positive message? Is it stereotype-reinforcing or boundary-shattering? Ya-dah ya-dah - it's a goddamn funny song with a goddamn funny video. See it here: video and read some of the more interesting commentary on it - I particularly like the comments on quillandquire.
Now, can someone point me to the LA Times article, because I can't find it. Kthanks.


OKFINE it's not JUST a goddamn funny song. YES it's a parody, which, like all good parodies, brings into focus a little bit of the ridiculousness of its subject. YES it's a public service announcement, because even if it's got curses in it, it's also got damn good messages in it (just like this blog, donchaknow). YES it's stereotype-reinforcing AND boundary-breaking. It's smart AND funny. And catchy, no? I especially like the R.E.A.D.A.B.O.O.K. refrain :)

Watch this.

Internet People. It's f'n great.


In other news, when I post-date a blog post (post post post), shouldn't it automatically be, like, queued up to post when that date arrives? Helloooooo blogger.com.

Who says LA isn't safe?

So, tonight I went to the Thursday edition of the best yoga class and after it was over, my friend and I decided to grab something to eat at a place across the street. She was parked in back, I was parked in front; we said we'd meet over there.

So I go to my car and realize the place is literally across the street so I might as well walk there. I open my trunk and take out my jacket and walk across to the diner. We have a little something to drink and a little something to eat and we catch up on the two weeks since we've seen each other and about two hours later, we say goodnight and she drives off. I walk to the crosswalk and go to take out my keys... only, they're not there.

It's ok; I keep my valet key in my purse separately and I have a spare house key in my car. It's not ok; the valet key is with another friend who let me park my car at his place while I was in Florida last week.

Then I realize what must have happened - I bet I left my entire set of keys in the keyhole of my trunk. For two hours. On Van Nuys Boulevard. So forget the question of will the keys still be there - how about the question of will my car still be there?

Shit.

I see brake lights from the general area where my car is and I book it down the street. Some people are getting out of THE SPOT DIRECTLY BEHIND MY CAR. THEIR HEADLIGHTS ARE SHINING ON... my keys, still dangling from the lock.

Who says LA isn't safe?

"Let me know, bubele."

Wait, Nicole Krauss and Jonathan Safran Foer are married? To each other?? Why didn't anybody tell me? (Image and commentary on this from my favorite snarkers here.)

Bookslut, November edition... belated.

How did I fail to post this? I just found it in my drafts... oops. Well, December and the eagerly-awaited year-end round-up coming soon.

An easy (for you) month: I only finished five books in November, and I've already blogged about two of them separately. We had:

• In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. More non-fiction that reads like fiction, my favorite kind. Another one for my Metaphors That Don't Suck^TM File: "He had merely fallen face down across the bed, as though sleep were a weapon that had struck him from behind."


• Burning Bright by John Steinbeck. I love theme-and-variations kinds of stories. This structure of the "Play in Story Form" was an interesting idea but hard to believe in as a new genre. This is a tiny book and yet it gets in deep and quickly, and still manages to keep being surprising. I really liked it.


• The Haunted Bookshop by Christopher Morley. About this book I've said too much already.


• Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk.


• A Year in Van Nuys by Sandra Tsing Loh, also already blogged here.

Josh Heller style

So, each December I teach a workshop or two at a local Elderhostel. It's really fun for me because every year I get to go back and see all my old friends.

Go RDB!

Two words: Tino.

I. I KNEW IT!

So, that link is to the blog of Diablo Cody, who wrote the unbelievably wonderful "Juno", of course. (Thanks to El Gigante for the link there.) She writes:

"To answer an increasingly common and much-welcomed question, yes-- the reference to "Tino" in Juno is absolutely a MSCL shout-out."

I KNEW IT!!


II. Also, by the way, I Am Legend Los Angeles on Christmas Morning. Driving down Ventura at 10am on Christmas Day? De. Ser. Ted. But no cgi gazelles.


III. RDB can't resist the urge to out-geek herself. Favorite day-appropriate joke? Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25 !

IV. I told you RDB was dorkier than you thought.

Judaism: from the folks that brought you the weekend.

Fabulous quotation of the day, from 52portions.com:

"Judaism is the world's most obsessive-complusive book club. Every week, religous Jews read a portion or 'parsha' of the Hebrew Bible, so that at the end of a year we've read the whole thing. Then we start all over again."